And this is where it is tricky, because this often results in a revelation of the unhappiness of the person who had the affair, and that then goes directly to, “So it’s my fault you did this to me.” (It’s not.) What is it about this moment that is so hard to sit in? Why does “you’re part of the context that brought me here” go so quickly to “you’re to blame?” I think it’s because betrayal contains survival information.
