For years, I’ve listened to people try to explain what happens to love: why couples get stuck in criticism and withdrawal, why desire fades, why safety and fear can shape a relationship so differently.
I’ve come to believe that relationships are the primary way human beings grow, heal, and transform.
Relationships change us. We should let them.
What You Wish For
What You Wish For argues we've been thinking about passion and security backwards. Emotional safety doesn’t dull desire; it creates the conditions for it. When people feel secure with each other, they can keep expanding and bring that evolution back to the bond.
For the person who buys all the books, and wonders why nothing is changing. For the partner who gets handed a book to read and finds themselves nowhere in it.
About Andrea
I’m a licensed psychologist and a certified EFT couple therapist based in Brunswick, Maine. I direct the Center for Relationships at Psychology Specialists of Maine and write regularly on Substack about relationships, attachment, emotional development, desire, and the paradoxes of intimacy.